Richard Collins, Abbot
New Orleans Zen Temple
31 October 2024
Yesterday I spoke about Zen Work, about the life work that comes with DOKAN, the Great Vow, the Ring of the Way. This work begins with working on yourself, really understanding yourself, recognizing yourself, not running away from yourself. And not just your nice, compassionate sunny-side self, but also your shadow self or selves, the ones that are not so savory.
This is hard work; most people don’t have the stomach for it. They want to go straight to peace and serenity, to nirvana, I suppose. But as Robert used to say, Don’t try to find nirvana. Nirvana (extinction) will find you, soon enough.
Two chapters of Philippe’s new book Zen Fragments address this subject. In Chapter 4, entitled “Shadows,” he writes:
We must understand our shadows. And to understand them we must look at our personal history, our own individual karma, and obviously the illusions which create these shadows.
– Philippe Coupey, Zen Fragments: Teachings and Reflections of a Zen Monk in Paris (11)
In our tradition when someone requests bodhisattva ordination, we ask for a brief autobiographical statement about the person’s path that has brought them to this point. This is not an empty formality. The personal statement is helpful to the teacher who needs to understand the ordainee, where he or she is on their path, where they have been to get here, their karma and how they conceive of it. But the personal statement should be even more helpful for the ordainee in understanding the step they are taking.
This is why the statement must not be self-hagiography. It is not a job application, not a resume in search of approval. I often send back first drafts and ask the ordainee to rewrite it and dig a little deeper. The personal statement needs to at least begin to take a look at the shadows, as Coupey calls them, which he also calls karmic knots. These karmic knots must be unraveled, like tangled Christmas lights, periodically. The personal statement is just the first step in an ongoing examination of motivation and intention, a first step in the discovery of what practice is in relation to our karma, our past actions, our present actions, and our future actions. This is the work of Zen practice, after all.
Halloween is probably a good day to discuss these shadow selves. These masks that we wear; or should I say, the masks that wear us.
Chapter 5 of Zen Fragments is called “What Brings You to Practice.” This chapter is about more than just a narrative of one’s path to the dojo. It is really about the necessity of self-examination, to discover not only your shadows, but in the process discovering your KAN, the Great Inner Vow to continue to practice. It is the rock around which you can center your search. It is the inner altar in the direction of which we bow every time we enter the dojo.
Japanese Hyotokoto Comic Mask of the Fool