Long practice does not necessarily make for strong practice.
Every dojo has one.
He is the one who has been around for a while, often having practiced at several different dojos, and thinks he knows something because he has put in his time on the cushion. I say “he” because it is almost always a male. Zensplainers suffer from the same malady as mansplainers.
He is the one who will correct your movements in the dojo, from the moment you step over the raised threshold with the wrong foot until the moment you gassho and bow out forever, saying, “If that guy is what I’ll turn into if I practice Zen for a long time, I’m out of here!”
In the most virulent form, he can become a Zen Nazi, barking and threatening and abusing his authority, although in a good dojo he would never get any real authority. Most Zensplainers are just more like Zen uncles at Thanksgiving, annoyingly avuncular and out of touch with the present reality.
Some Zensplaineres will correct you only about the forms, to which they are terminally attached. Others, however, will also attempt to engage you in sophistic Dharma Combat, even though they have never gone through the formal hossen shiki ceremony to make them a teacher.
He is particularly compelled to Zensplain to newcomers, although no one is really safe, including the master. The veteran Zensplainer will also offer his unsolicited corrections to anyone younger or “less experienced” than he is, even if that person has been given authority that he has not, especially if that person is a woman. He would willingly usurp their authority if they allow him to be as “helpful” as he would like.
There are at least two problems with Zensplainers.
First, like mansplainers, they think they are being helpful but really they are only helping their own egos. They are like Charles Johnson’s Herman Wilder, shouting on Echo Mountain: “Herman Wilder is a most enlightened fellow!”
Second, and again like mansplainers, they are often wrong.
The root of this problem is partly in the ego. These old-timers like to think that they have learned something and can only demonstrate this by instructing others. They want to share, but what they are sharing is outmoded and, worse, wrongheaded. Zensplaining behavior shows that they have learned nothing. If they had, they would sit down and shut up and attend to their own practice, cherishing their beginner’s mind, instead of aspiring to teach.
Long practice does not necessarily make for strong practice. Investing one’s time is no different than investing one’s money. As Bodhidharma told Emperor Bu, who had invested time and money in Zen by building many temples, “NO MERIT! Vast emptiness. Nothing sacred.”
Every dojo has one.
— Richard Collins
Cartoon by Charles Johnson